Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked."Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."
杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗。一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填。仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问."有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."
Wife:You see.According to te statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol。
Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all The people eat meals。
妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。
丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死予肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。
"Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
"Yours?Can you prove it?"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
"请原谅,你占了我的位置."
"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"
"能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."
One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"
Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"
亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"
Always Thirsty
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctorleft a sponge in me."
"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
总感到口渴
一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”
“不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”
A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad。
Father: What"s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。
一个有效的方法
爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?
杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。
爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?
杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。
A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot。
Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot。
Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it。
凯特的礼物
凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?
妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀?
凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital。
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor。
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
医生懂得多
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”
医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。”
妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。”
Waste or Save
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"tyou know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?
浪费还是节约
父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?
杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是?
Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your toothyet。
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
他为什么喊
牙医:请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。
病人:我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀!